Singaporeans, are they?

For the past few days since the Singapore's women team won the Silver medal in the women's team table tennis event in Olympics 2008, I have been either seeing or hearing comments made against them. Chiefly they were regarding issue of the women's team being not Singaporean, but 'imported' as so coined by one of my friend. Somehow this has somewhat hit on a raw nerve and I get very emotional every time I see or hear a similar comment. Probably because these comments comes from Singaporeans themselves! I would have understand if such comments were to be from non-Singaporeans, but to hear it from Singaporean themselves is really too much for me to bear!

Technically, these women are Singaporean as they have already been given Singaporean citizenship. So, case close on this issue! But then, I'm sure this will only shut the critics' mouth up but never really truly make them realise their flaw in their viewpoints. And so let me tell you a story, though I'm extremely bad at story telling, which I hope will convince the critics to see the light.

"Long long time ago, back in the days of 1965, a new nation was born. Together with her birth, her people was given a new status - as Singaporeans! No matter where her people were born, where her people spend their younger years, or what her people religion or races were, they were all given the title of Singaporeans. And for years, these Singaporeans with roots in many other places 'cept Singapore were pretty much condemned (by her ever so friendly neighbours etc), and Singapore's odds of surviving adolescence was next to nothing. But still, her people worked hard and beat all odds and even propel Singapore's ability beyond her physical size.

And now, 43 years down the road, a group of people of different background e.g. country of birth etc intends to not only make Singapore their home, but to bring sporting glory to Singapore. But, her people shut their doors to these new Singaporeans instead, citing among other reasons, that they are not even born in Singapore to begin with (in order to be considered a Singaporean)."

Moral of the story? Are you going to deny your grandparents or great-grandparents of their Singaporean status because they never grew up in Singapore but in China/India etc instead?

To die trying...

First off, thanks guys/gals for your comforting words and encouragements for my previous post. Yeah... my work has taken a turn downhill, but I do not, and will not give up. I guess, I just need some place to vent my frustration, anger, disappointment, and all my negative feelings. And as bokjae has mentioned, this is life. Along the way, we are going to meet with lotsa challenges. And as Dr Randy Paush had mentioned in his last lecture of his life (he gave his last lecture knowing that he would die from cancer a few months down the road), "... the brick walls are there not to keep us out, but to let us prove how badly we want things. ". So, I guess if I want it bad enough, and just keep banging on the wall (pun intended), it would one day collapse! And a phrase that he said keeps coming back to me - "...we cannot change the cards that we're dealt, just how we play the hand". A very meaningful phrase, I reckon. If he see through death in such a calm and positive light, what is my little non-life threatening setback compared to his? So, no matter what, I'm going to hang on. I will hang on till the rope snaps, and then at least I can face up to the world and proudly shout, "I tried".

And if anyone is interested in 'The Last Lecture' by Dr Randy Paush, you can catch it in youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo. And being a truly dedicated and caring educator he is, he dedicated his last lecture before his impending death (on 25th July 2008) to inspiring people to pursue their dreams. It is really disheartening to see him passed away at a golden age where he could have contributed so much to the next generation, should he have survived this ordeal. And clearly, there are so many educators out there who cares only for their own fame and benefits that live to a ripe old age. How ironic is this world?

the longest night

I wish I could write this post in better circumstances, and fact is there were better instances just a couple of days ago. But, everything just went down hill since Monday. What else could it be regarding but my research project?

I see myself as a calm lake. The surface of the lake is so still that you can be blinded by the reflection of the sun from the lake surface. But yet, underneath such deceiving calmness lies the emotional undercurrent so strong that no plants or life can establish a foothold. On the outside, I may appear well, or barely scraping through in handling the constant stresses of a PhD research route, but deep down it's always a constant struggle.

Faith? Faith that everything will come to be alright eventually? How is it possible to have faith when you're being stuck down to the valley floor almost every time you are about to climb out of the dark abyss? It would seems I would have more faith in staying in the dungeon of despair than escaping. Hope? The more you hope for, the harder you fall. I daren't hope. Not even so much as to hope I can graduate.

But yet, as certain as hope and faith slowly slip away from my grasp, a part of me urges me to carry on. But how far can I go on, constantly being abused psychologically by myself? Like holding on to sand particles, the longer and harder I tried to hold on to hope, to faith, I could feel myself slipping away.

I've thought of giving up, throwing in the towel, simply just pack my bags and left. But I just don't have the courage, to face my mentor, to face my friends, and to face myself for being a failure. So how can I be 'honourably discharged' from my research? Accident? Yes, hopefully some sickness or accident would render me a few months or a year's break, and thus it would be perfectly alright to discontinue my research studies. Morbid? I sure am. That is what constant psychological stresses and cowardice left me with.

I wish I can be numb of feelings and emotion towards my research. It is the only way I know of to survive these trying years. No hope, no faith, no expectation and I will have no disappointment, no sorrow, no despair.

A picture paints a thousand words

And so, let the pictures do their talking!

	Yummy Pizza Hut's pizza!! Of all the places/fast food that I have eaten so far, the pizza from Pizza Hut, Australia is by far the cheapest - A large pizza cost $5.95 and trust me, unless you are a hungry ghost, else by the time you finish the whole pizza, you will be as bloated as a balloon! LOL...

Out of the blue I decided to make myself some porriage for the first time in Australia! What else but seafood porriage for a seafoody person like me?! Fish, crabstick, scallop - heavenly!

	Guess what flower this is?? It's from a veg, but can you guess from which veg??

A surprise present that my dear sent to me - a limited edition golden Thomas the Train!! Yup, I guess I'm still a child at heart! LOL

A cool black & white picture of the moon, overlooking the street below

Home

It has been an extremely long while since I last write an entry in my blog. Laziness, procrastination, and a book project have been keeping me busy while I’m not at work. And to what do I owe the sudden revival of a blog entry now? ‘Cos I felt a sudden surge of homesickness that course through my arteries and veins, to every cell in my body – the sudden sadness, the sudden overflow of emotions, the sudden longing of returning to a place where I truly belong. The memories, the people, the places, the intangible bonds that intricately link and woven them to me can neither be seen or caught but like gravity – it can be felt no matter where you are and like gravity, we are oblivious to it.

Over the years, I had always long to be overseas – away from Singapore thinking that life would be great in another country. That was then. Probably with age and maturity, and the fact that I’m in another country for almost a year and a half, and another two and a half more years to go, like Newton, I was no longer oblivious to ‘gravity’ anymore. I realize that no matter where I go, as much as I would love to deny it, there is really no place like home – Singapore.

Simply incomprehensible!

I probably shouldn't be doing this right now - I'm going to make myself to be a very bad person, who is insensitive and un-understanding. But, in a way, that is how I felt as I simply do not comprehend his actions.

'A' has been staying for almost a month. From what I had observed in this month, he doesn't seems to go out to tour around Sydney very often. Prolly once in a while, to bondi or something. It appears that he might have some problems back home, and in some kinda depression. All he does is to coop up at home and plays the guitar, singing his love or rather, gathering strength from his lord. Seriously, this can be done back in Singapore isn't it? And he came all the way here to Sydney just to do this? Unless he is trying to get away from something or someone in Singapore? I have no idea, and I do not intent to be a busybody. If it's a trip to let his feelings recover etc, shouldn't he be better off enjoying his time here with trips etc rather than just staying at home most of the time? What does he hope to achieve? I'll be damn bored if I were him! Like I said, I simply do not comprehend his actions at all!

Then again, it's really none of my business so what am I bitching about? I shouldn't impose my view of the world into him, and so kudos to him, and may he gather enough strength from his lord to help him face the problem that he is trying to avoid back home!

3GB community

I’m sure many of you folks would love to keep in touch with your friends, especially old friends or those who have moved to some distance away. Besides the usual community portal that is available on the web, you can try out 3GB community too.

3GB community provides a community portal where friends can keep in touch with each other, share photos, join common interest groups, chat, blog, and also hear mp3 hits too. So far about 660 members have joined, and who knows, you might just find your old friends there!

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Jump starting my blog...

I realised that I have been either very lazy, or very busy lately – both of which doesn’t spell excellent for my blog. Besides attempts to write a couple of posts occasionally, my blog is pretty barren – a stark contrast to how it was a year ago when I just arrived in Sydney. Nowadays, a blog seems to be a chore, no matter how noble its purpose has been. And when I finally settle to come up with a new post, I realised that there seems to be a backlog of stuffs that I need to put in my blog to chronicle the events of the past couple of weeks. This definitely compounds to any inertia that I might have to whip up a post or two. Prolly I should just let some of my pictures do the talking then, to jump start my blog once again.

	Well, this photo was taken in the Sydney Fish Market, overlooking the ANZAC Bridge, on a fine Saturday if I didn't remember wrongly, with Oliver, Cat, Tim, Toni (Tim's wife) and two of Oliver's friends which I had no idea what their names were. Went to savour some delicious succulent prawns, seafood platter, fishes, and who can resist the temptation of oysters? Simply heavenly! Oysters in Australia is so way over ahead of those you get to eat in Singapore e.g. Paris International Restaurant. I could have easily finish half a hundred if it comes cheap! LOL
	A typical weekend scene out the Fish Market, with rows and rows of occupied seats where folks just simply enjoying the good food and the company of the seagulls!
	Grrrr.... Need I say more? (taken from the Fish Market)
	After the Fish Market, we proceed onwards to the Lindt Cafe by the Darling Harbor. Ordered a chocolate milkshake - well, quite choco-ky but other than that, it's still manageable.

Well, some snapshots of my dinner. The big round meatball look-a-like is called a meat rissole. Don't be put off by its size. I find it to be rather delicious!

Therichcom.com

I guess this post is especially relevant to those who are overseas, away from their home country either for work or especially for studies. From time to time, you would miss home and wish to make a call back home, but one of the obstacles the prevent you from calling back frequently is the cost of such a call. Normally, poor students such as me would make use of calling or phone cards which is much cheaper than using a post-paid mobile. However, there are so many calling cards in the market, and so which calling card is actually the best for you? Which calling card would give you maximum talk time with the lowest cost?

Well, therichcom.com is here to help. It is a web portal that allows one to search for, and compare the available calling cards that best suits your needs e.g. country that you are calling to. In addition, they deliver the calling card details online instantly, once you have made payment and thus save you the hassle of physically buying the card. So if you are interested, do check out their website. However, one issue to note is that the calling cards that are sold in the website are for calls made from United States. So do take note!

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Birthday entry

28 years ago, I was born. Yes, I’m officially 28 years of age on the 18th Apr. Somehow I just don’t feel enthusiastic about it. Prolly foremost that I don’t celebrate my birthday since young – it hasn’t been a family tradition to celebrate birthday, not if you come from a poor family. The only celebration that I ever had was just to get a cake with Limin, and just cut it and eat it. I am not a big fan of birthday celebration really. I’m afraid of dying… soon I will hit 30, and soon 40 then 50... And then 60 will be followed by 70s and then the next thing I know, I’ll be inside a coffin. Of course, if I’m really inside a coffin, I wouldn’t know and that I wouldn’t allow myself to be in a coffin either. I would rather either donate my body to science, or just cremate my body and pour my ashes somewhere into the wind or ocean, than to take up valuable land space in Singapore and just subject myself to rotting under ground. And I would hate to have all those funeral procession going on for mine as well. In life I hate it when there are funeral procession going on as I find it disturbingly noisy, old fashion, and all the burning of jock sticks and ‘hell papers’ are polluting the air. So, I ask no more than to just cremate me without all these nonsense, since it is impossible to send my lifeless body then up to space isn’t it?

Oh well unknowingly, I’m talking about my death instead of life when I touch on the topic of my birthday. Seriously and truthfully, that is how I see it. We are all alive, so that we may one day die. That is life.

Anyway, it is also one of those days that I would rather spend the day alone, not celebrating it at all, as I see no point in celebrating me getting closer to my impending doom. So, I decided to spend the day doing something which I had in my mind a long time since, and have yet had a chance to do it – feeding the birds e.g. ducks, swans, geese in the Centannial Park. I hope that my gesture will be of a help to these little creatures, to allow them to survive one more day with the food that they had from me – not to say that they are dying of starvation. Just that, I would take my mind off myself to be able to see them feeding away, not having to wonder where to get more food to feed themselves or their family next especially in these cold harsh autumn weather. Speaking of which, some of the birds that I saw and fed had young chicks with them. And what I saw next actually quite stunned me, as I saw the adult bird gave the bread that I fed them with, to feed their chicks. It suddenly don onto me that these creatures are so human-like.

I also met up with a few geese, a white and two grey geese. From what I can tell, it seems that these three geese were the only goose in the park. Anyway, there were quite big, standing somewhere as tall as till my mid-thigh. They seem so gentle. And if you agree with me, then you are wrong! Or at least partially wrong. The grey geese were quite docile, waiting patiently for their share of the bread. But the white goose would be nudging away at my pants with its beak when I was feeding the other two – demanding that I fed it instead. What audacity from a goose! Oh well, I guess it’s the dominant goose of the three?

Overall, I had quite an enjoyable experience in the park, engrossing myself with nature and being able to help these little creatures out, even though that they might not need mine to begin with. One thing for sure – I would love to pay them a visit again.

L.A. Police Gear

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Save the dogs, save lives.

Seriously, what has this world come to?! I really do not understand at all...

There is this case of a so-called 'artist' that starves a dog, just for the sake of art! Worst still, the Central American Biennial of Art thinks that this is art as well, and invited him to 'perform' again in the Biennial Centroamericana Honduras 2008! What he did was to tie the already starving dog that was caught on the street with a short rope to a wall, and placed a bowl of food in front of the dog, but beyond its reach. Eventually, the dog died of starvation, while 'sacrificing' itself for the sake of art! Murder I say. I seriously couldn't comprehend how this could be art. This is pure cruelty! What has this world come to?? And if you look at the picture to the left, there are actually people 'admiring' the art work of the dying dog, and did nothing to help that poor dog! This is really too much!

Such action must be renounced, and you can join in the petition at this webby: http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/675045.

Save the dogs, save lives.

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Musicals from Scrub, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yupe! I never knew that some of the best dramas of its time has an entire episode dedicated to being a musical presentation! I was like browsing about for the High School Musical, when I chanced upon the Scrub musical! Simply hilarious! LOL... Especially the 'guy love song'! LOL... You should watch the musical if you are eyeing for a good laugh. =)


And I was surprised that even Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a musical episode as well! LOL... quite interesting to see Buffy singing along as she kill vampires..=D Enjoy!

Betfair.com

I am sure many of us like to play football, and love to watch football as well. For me, I do occasionally bet on football as well. Mind you, I bet through legal channels! Anyway, from the way I see it, football betting is nothing new. As long as there are two teams playing against each other, bets are on the way.

Well, one way to bet on football is of course to go to the legal betting channels in your country. Another up and coming way is through the internet! I have never tried it before though. Anyway, in betfair.com, they offer betting of football matches from many different leagues, including the ever popular English Premiership. In addition, Betfair allows you to bet right up till the full 90 minutes of the game! And to make the game more exciting, Betfair allows you to bet against other punters and you get to choose your own betting odds! Overall, Betfair claims to provide a fair betting system for everyone.

So, if you are interested in it, do check out their website. And of course, betting is fun if you practice responsible betting. Else, you will loss much more than just your bet. Take heed!

The day of greys and blues...

Despite finally having a rest day after 23 continuous days of work (including weekends), I'm not happy. Not that I'm a workaholic, but I just felt down. Even though I've been listening to the happy song over and over again throughout the day, I still couldn't help feeling down. Well... this could be due to either of these reasons, or all of them...

1. Feeling frustrated from planning my year end trip when my beloved Limin comes over this year end. Well, not really over the planning, but rather over the fact that we have not much money to spend on the trip and so got to plan carefully. And, the package for Fraser island will be expired come end of March, and they didn't put up the new package for the period starting from Apr 08. So, it's really hard for me to plan... Why plan so early? Well, it's something that I can look forward to amidst my mentally torturous PhD candidature.

2. Anna, our wedding planner, emailed us today saying that the Beaufort resort's villa cannot accommodate more than 30 guest for our ROM solemnization. Beaufort is my first choice for ROM venue... and this news really hit me hard. And I then I thought, I'm not going to have the solemnization inside the house of the villa, but rather at the poolside area. Couldn't that accommodate 50 guests? Why does things never turn out the way I want it? Gotta ask her to check again if the max 30 guest is for inside the house or by the poolside.

3. My housemate, JM, has been quite successful with his PhD candidature. Well, not to say that he didn't have his bad times, but he has finally managed to tide over it. And has thus far published a peer-reviewed article in Science, as well as having the tv crew to film and interview him. And he's going for conference in Paris soon - and he had just went for one in Barcelona last year! Well... not to say that I'm jealous of him or envious. In fact, I'm happy for him that he is finally seeing the light at the end of the PhD tunnel. But his success has somehow contrast out my miserable PhD candidature that I had so far... and I'm beginning to think if I will ever see that light just as what JM is going through now. The light of his success has brought to my attention how dark my PhD tunnel is, and I don't foresee myself seeing that light in my tunnel at all...

With light, darkness lurks.
And in darkness I seek,
for that remote glimpse of hope,
a flickering photon that ushers in the end.
The euphoric end, a paradisic land.
A well worth journey, I reckoned.
But where is my beam of light?
I fear for my blight.
Will I ever see it?

Rapartists.com

I am not in rap, or hip hop, but I’m sure there are many out there that appreciate it. So for those who likes rap, you might want to check out rapartists.com as they feature a lot of rap artist in their website. And they even have a forum too, which is great especially for rap fans to interact with each other. So, do check it out.

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Happy song!

It has been a long time since I hear such a happy song!! And all thanks to a fellow blogger, Beverly, who has embedded the song in her website,that I'm able to enjoy such a wonderful, light-hearted, lively song. The title of the song is 'New Soul', by Yael Naim.

I have attached its MTV herein as well... hmm.. somehow, it remains me of some advertisement from Kodak or Fuji! LOL... and wow! her MTV on the youtube has more than 5 million views since Aug 07! Guess it's really popular huh! yeah.. I simply love it. lalalala...lala...I'm a young soul

Oh! Jus realised that this song was actually handpicked as a commerical theme song for MacBook Air! Cool!

Mortgage website

Mortgage payment nowadays is not easy, with all the increasing inflation rate, and interest rate hikes. Therefore people must definitely be on the look out for the best mortgage deals in town, and upon realizing so, must act fast. According to the website, www.Earth.co.uk, due to competition between mortgage providers, competitive mortgage deals may be pulled at a short notice. Thus, consumers have to be sharp and act fast. The consequence of not doing so might be that you will be so over burdened by your mortgage payments that you become physically ill and that is the worst situation that any one could be in. So to look out for the best deals, do pay earth.co.uk a visit!

Day 3 of the Great Walkabout - Blue Mountains & Featherdale Wildlife Park

Well, for starters, having learn our lessons in the 2nd day of the Great walkabout, we woke up really early on the 3rd day and waited in front of Gemini Hotel like 10 minutes before the scheduled 6.45am pick-up time. And this time round, we managed to catch the pick-up coach, and it went round and round the city to pick up other passengers as well... After that we alighted at the Star City bus terminal to transfer to a coach that is setting out for the Blue Mountains. Yupe...Blue Mountains here we come!

And so we travelled westwards about 2 hours to a town, Leura, where we were allowed to take coffee breaks/snacks for about half an hour. Well, Leura did look like a sleepy deserted town, but then again we might just be seeing only one side of it. Anyway, there is a candy & choc shop in the Leura strand arcade, which is full of candies and chocolate! LOL... ok ok, of course it has to be full of candies and choc if it is a candy & choc shop huh!? LOL... Bought a packet of candy 'french fries' from the store, together with some chocolates as well... yum yum... Will definitely go back to the store again if I ever go to blue mountain again.

Now comes the part that really made us, as well as the rest of the passengers bewildered with anguish. After leaving Leura and travelled for another 10 minutes we reached the Scenic World, Blue Mountain, and that was where we were supposed to tour the Mountain and had our lunch! For some of the passengers, they just had their snacks/tea 10 minutes ago, and now they have to eat lunch! How could they fill so many food in their stomach? The driver should have known better, and told us that the Scenic World was like 10 minutes drive away and that we'll be having our lunch there. In this way, the passengers wouldn't eat so much during the break, and thus be able to truly enjoy their luncheon by the Blue Mountains. What was the driver even thinking?!

And so there we were in Scenic World. I had originally wanted to take all the 3 rides in the Scenic World to see the Blue Mountains, the skyway, cableway, and the railway. But, Limin was afraid that the queue would be long, and we wouldn't be back to the coach in time and so I had to give up the skyway, which I really wanna to be in! Argh... I'm gonna try the Skyway in future, that is if I ever go back to Blue Mountains.. =( But I must say, the railway is so cool!! It is on an extremely steep slope (in fact the steepest in the world according to the Scenic World) which made the ride seems so roller coaster-ish! Alas the ride only lasted about a minute, and by the time I grab hold tightly to my free-falling bags and overcome the initial shock of having free-falling kinda feeling from the ride, the ride came to a stop... argh... I guess this is something which I will definitely try again the next time round!

So, the Blue Mountains and the Three Sisters. Basically these are the two main attractions - that the mountain ranges has a bluish hue to it, and three sharp peaks on one of the mountains respectively. Well, I personally thought that there is no big deal about the mountain and the three sisters after seeing it from the Scenic World. I mean, no matter how you look, it's just those three peaks. The first minute of your view would be the same as the what you would see, say ten minutes later. So I felt pretty bored of looking at the three sisters after a while..

But the scenic walkway is much more interesting, at least to me. I get to see the lush flora that grows on the mountain, and is quite an eye-opener. For instance, some of the trees have been hit by lightnings before, and one can observed that part of their bark/truck have turned into charcoal. And amazingly, these trees are still surviving despite the lightning strike! In another example, there are these two trees that grows very close to each other since juvenile. Therefore, their trucks are intertwined, and the portion of the bark/truck that touches each other become fused as they grow larger. This is so cool! Never know that such stuffs could happen. And so as you would have gathered by now, I enjoyed the scenic walk much better than the Three Sisters. =)

So, after Blue mountains, our next stop was Govett's Leap. Well, if I'm not wrong, legend has it that this guy called Govett leap over the gorge while on his horse, as he was pursue by the authorities for stolen some stuffs. Well.. who in the world would survive that fall? Well either the legend is fake, or the person died of a horrible death. But I must say that the scenery is amazing.

And finally, we visited the Featherdale Wildlife Park to mark the end of our trip for the day. The wildlife park was great - get to see lots of animals such as kangaroos and wallabies up close, and even get to feed them and pet them too! And of course, the famous kookaburra! And oh man, are those birds big!! Every time I see a picture of them on the web etc I would have thought that there are prolly like the size of a small crow, but I was wrong!! And it even amazes me to see a kookaburra that is albino as well! In fact, not only are the kookaburra albino, there are albino wallabies and peacock as well. Well, I think what they lack is an albino koala bear... LOL...=D Overall, time at the wildlife park was quite enjoyable, though it was pretty rush as we were given only an hour to browse through the park. Would have been much better if we are given at least half an hour more.

Oh well, that's how tours are. You get to see lotsa of attractions in a day, but you don't get to spend quality time in each attractions. And so, these concludes the day 3 of the Great Walkabout!

PS: The koala bears are so smelly!! Yuck!