Singaporeans, are they?

For the past few days since the Singapore's women team won the Silver medal in the women's team table tennis event in Olympics 2008, I have been either seeing or hearing comments made against them. Chiefly they were regarding issue of the women's team being not Singaporean, but 'imported' as so coined by one of my friend. Somehow this has somewhat hit on a raw nerve and I get very emotional every time I see or hear a similar comment. Probably because these comments comes from Singaporeans themselves! I would have understand if such comments were to be from non-Singaporeans, but to hear it from Singaporean themselves is really too much for me to bear!

Technically, these women are Singaporean as they have already been given Singaporean citizenship. So, case close on this issue! But then, I'm sure this will only shut the critics' mouth up but never really truly make them realise their flaw in their viewpoints. And so let me tell you a story, though I'm extremely bad at story telling, which I hope will convince the critics to see the light.

"Long long time ago, back in the days of 1965, a new nation was born. Together with her birth, her people was given a new status - as Singaporeans! No matter where her people were born, where her people spend their younger years, or what her people religion or races were, they were all given the title of Singaporeans. And for years, these Singaporeans with roots in many other places 'cept Singapore were pretty much condemned (by her ever so friendly neighbours etc), and Singapore's odds of surviving adolescence was next to nothing. But still, her people worked hard and beat all odds and even propel Singapore's ability beyond her physical size.

And now, 43 years down the road, a group of people of different background e.g. country of birth etc intends to not only make Singapore their home, but to bring sporting glory to Singapore. But, her people shut their doors to these new Singaporeans instead, citing among other reasons, that they are not even born in Singapore to begin with (in order to be considered a Singaporean)."

Moral of the story? Are you going to deny your grandparents or great-grandparents of their Singaporean status because they never grew up in Singapore but in China/India etc instead?

To die trying...

First off, thanks guys/gals for your comforting words and encouragements for my previous post. Yeah... my work has taken a turn downhill, but I do not, and will not give up. I guess, I just need some place to vent my frustration, anger, disappointment, and all my negative feelings. And as bokjae has mentioned, this is life. Along the way, we are going to meet with lotsa challenges. And as Dr Randy Paush had mentioned in his last lecture of his life (he gave his last lecture knowing that he would die from cancer a few months down the road), "... the brick walls are there not to keep us out, but to let us prove how badly we want things. ". So, I guess if I want it bad enough, and just keep banging on the wall (pun intended), it would one day collapse! And a phrase that he said keeps coming back to me - "...we cannot change the cards that we're dealt, just how we play the hand". A very meaningful phrase, I reckon. If he see through death in such a calm and positive light, what is my little non-life threatening setback compared to his? So, no matter what, I'm going to hang on. I will hang on till the rope snaps, and then at least I can face up to the world and proudly shout, "I tried".

And if anyone is interested in 'The Last Lecture' by Dr Randy Paush, you can catch it in youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo. And being a truly dedicated and caring educator he is, he dedicated his last lecture before his impending death (on 25th July 2008) to inspiring people to pursue their dreams. It is really disheartening to see him passed away at a golden age where he could have contributed so much to the next generation, should he have survived this ordeal. And clearly, there are so many educators out there who cares only for their own fame and benefits that live to a ripe old age. How ironic is this world?

the longest night

I wish I could write this post in better circumstances, and fact is there were better instances just a couple of days ago. But, everything just went down hill since Monday. What else could it be regarding but my research project?

I see myself as a calm lake. The surface of the lake is so still that you can be blinded by the reflection of the sun from the lake surface. But yet, underneath such deceiving calmness lies the emotional undercurrent so strong that no plants or life can establish a foothold. On the outside, I may appear well, or barely scraping through in handling the constant stresses of a PhD research route, but deep down it's always a constant struggle.

Faith? Faith that everything will come to be alright eventually? How is it possible to have faith when you're being stuck down to the valley floor almost every time you are about to climb out of the dark abyss? It would seems I would have more faith in staying in the dungeon of despair than escaping. Hope? The more you hope for, the harder you fall. I daren't hope. Not even so much as to hope I can graduate.

But yet, as certain as hope and faith slowly slip away from my grasp, a part of me urges me to carry on. But how far can I go on, constantly being abused psychologically by myself? Like holding on to sand particles, the longer and harder I tried to hold on to hope, to faith, I could feel myself slipping away.

I've thought of giving up, throwing in the towel, simply just pack my bags and left. But I just don't have the courage, to face my mentor, to face my friends, and to face myself for being a failure. So how can I be 'honourably discharged' from my research? Accident? Yes, hopefully some sickness or accident would render me a few months or a year's break, and thus it would be perfectly alright to discontinue my research studies. Morbid? I sure am. That is what constant psychological stresses and cowardice left me with.

I wish I can be numb of feelings and emotion towards my research. It is the only way I know of to survive these trying years. No hope, no faith, no expectation and I will have no disappointment, no sorrow, no despair.

A picture paints a thousand words

And so, let the pictures do their talking!

	Yummy Pizza Hut's pizza!! Of all the places/fast food that I have eaten so far, the pizza from Pizza Hut, Australia is by far the cheapest - A large pizza cost $5.95 and trust me, unless you are a hungry ghost, else by the time you finish the whole pizza, you will be as bloated as a balloon! LOL...

Out of the blue I decided to make myself some porriage for the first time in Australia! What else but seafood porriage for a seafoody person like me?! Fish, crabstick, scallop - heavenly!

	Guess what flower this is?? It's from a veg, but can you guess from which veg??

A surprise present that my dear sent to me - a limited edition golden Thomas the Train!! Yup, I guess I'm still a child at heart! LOL

A cool black & white picture of the moon, overlooking the street below

Home

It has been an extremely long while since I last write an entry in my blog. Laziness, procrastination, and a book project have been keeping me busy while I’m not at work. And to what do I owe the sudden revival of a blog entry now? ‘Cos I felt a sudden surge of homesickness that course through my arteries and veins, to every cell in my body – the sudden sadness, the sudden overflow of emotions, the sudden longing of returning to a place where I truly belong. The memories, the people, the places, the intangible bonds that intricately link and woven them to me can neither be seen or caught but like gravity – it can be felt no matter where you are and like gravity, we are oblivious to it.

Over the years, I had always long to be overseas – away from Singapore thinking that life would be great in another country. That was then. Probably with age and maturity, and the fact that I’m in another country for almost a year and a half, and another two and a half more years to go, like Newton, I was no longer oblivious to ‘gravity’ anymore. I realize that no matter where I go, as much as I would love to deny it, there is really no place like home – Singapore.

Simply incomprehensible!

I probably shouldn't be doing this right now - I'm going to make myself to be a very bad person, who is insensitive and un-understanding. But, in a way, that is how I felt as I simply do not comprehend his actions.

'A' has been staying for almost a month. From what I had observed in this month, he doesn't seems to go out to tour around Sydney very often. Prolly once in a while, to bondi or something. It appears that he might have some problems back home, and in some kinda depression. All he does is to coop up at home and plays the guitar, singing his love or rather, gathering strength from his lord. Seriously, this can be done back in Singapore isn't it? And he came all the way here to Sydney just to do this? Unless he is trying to get away from something or someone in Singapore? I have no idea, and I do not intent to be a busybody. If it's a trip to let his feelings recover etc, shouldn't he be better off enjoying his time here with trips etc rather than just staying at home most of the time? What does he hope to achieve? I'll be damn bored if I were him! Like I said, I simply do not comprehend his actions at all!

Then again, it's really none of my business so what am I bitching about? I shouldn't impose my view of the world into him, and so kudos to him, and may he gather enough strength from his lord to help him face the problem that he is trying to avoid back home!

3GB community

I’m sure many of you folks would love to keep in touch with your friends, especially old friends or those who have moved to some distance away. Besides the usual community portal that is available on the web, you can try out 3GB community too.

3GB community provides a community portal where friends can keep in touch with each other, share photos, join common interest groups, chat, blog, and also hear mp3 hits too. So far about 660 members have joined, and who knows, you might just find your old friends there!

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Jump starting my blog...

I realised that I have been either very lazy, or very busy lately – both of which doesn’t spell excellent for my blog. Besides attempts to write a couple of posts occasionally, my blog is pretty barren – a stark contrast to how it was a year ago when I just arrived in Sydney. Nowadays, a blog seems to be a chore, no matter how noble its purpose has been. And when I finally settle to come up with a new post, I realised that there seems to be a backlog of stuffs that I need to put in my blog to chronicle the events of the past couple of weeks. This definitely compounds to any inertia that I might have to whip up a post or two. Prolly I should just let some of my pictures do the talking then, to jump start my blog once again.

	Well, this photo was taken in the Sydney Fish Market, overlooking the ANZAC Bridge, on a fine Saturday if I didn't remember wrongly, with Oliver, Cat, Tim, Toni (Tim's wife) and two of Oliver's friends which I had no idea what their names were. Went to savour some delicious succulent prawns, seafood platter, fishes, and who can resist the temptation of oysters? Simply heavenly! Oysters in Australia is so way over ahead of those you get to eat in Singapore e.g. Paris International Restaurant. I could have easily finish half a hundred if it comes cheap! LOL
	A typical weekend scene out the Fish Market, with rows and rows of occupied seats where folks just simply enjoying the good food and the company of the seagulls!
	Grrrr.... Need I say more? (taken from the Fish Market)
	After the Fish Market, we proceed onwards to the Lindt Cafe by the Darling Harbor. Ordered a chocolate milkshake - well, quite choco-ky but other than that, it's still manageable.

Well, some snapshots of my dinner. The big round meatball look-a-like is called a meat rissole. Don't be put off by its size. I find it to be rather delicious!

Therichcom.com

I guess this post is especially relevant to those who are overseas, away from their home country either for work or especially for studies. From time to time, you would miss home and wish to make a call back home, but one of the obstacles the prevent you from calling back frequently is the cost of such a call. Normally, poor students such as me would make use of calling or phone cards which is much cheaper than using a post-paid mobile. However, there are so many calling cards in the market, and so which calling card is actually the best for you? Which calling card would give you maximum talk time with the lowest cost?

Well, therichcom.com is here to help. It is a web portal that allows one to search for, and compare the available calling cards that best suits your needs e.g. country that you are calling to. In addition, they deliver the calling card details online instantly, once you have made payment and thus save you the hassle of physically buying the card. So if you are interested, do check out their website. However, one issue to note is that the calling cards that are sold in the website are for calls made from United States. So do take note!

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Birthday entry

28 years ago, I was born. Yes, I’m officially 28 years of age on the 18th Apr. Somehow I just don’t feel enthusiastic about it. Prolly foremost that I don’t celebrate my birthday since young – it hasn’t been a family tradition to celebrate birthday, not if you come from a poor family. The only celebration that I ever had was just to get a cake with Limin, and just cut it and eat it. I am not a big fan of birthday celebration really. I’m afraid of dying… soon I will hit 30, and soon 40 then 50... And then 60 will be followed by 70s and then the next thing I know, I’ll be inside a coffin. Of course, if I’m really inside a coffin, I wouldn’t know and that I wouldn’t allow myself to be in a coffin either. I would rather either donate my body to science, or just cremate my body and pour my ashes somewhere into the wind or ocean, than to take up valuable land space in Singapore and just subject myself to rotting under ground. And I would hate to have all those funeral procession going on for mine as well. In life I hate it when there are funeral procession going on as I find it disturbingly noisy, old fashion, and all the burning of jock sticks and ‘hell papers’ are polluting the air. So, I ask no more than to just cremate me without all these nonsense, since it is impossible to send my lifeless body then up to space isn’t it?

Oh well unknowingly, I’m talking about my death instead of life when I touch on the topic of my birthday. Seriously and truthfully, that is how I see it. We are all alive, so that we may one day die. That is life.

Anyway, it is also one of those days that I would rather spend the day alone, not celebrating it at all, as I see no point in celebrating me getting closer to my impending doom. So, I decided to spend the day doing something which I had in my mind a long time since, and have yet had a chance to do it – feeding the birds e.g. ducks, swans, geese in the Centannial Park. I hope that my gesture will be of a help to these little creatures, to allow them to survive one more day with the food that they had from me – not to say that they are dying of starvation. Just that, I would take my mind off myself to be able to see them feeding away, not having to wonder where to get more food to feed themselves or their family next especially in these cold harsh autumn weather. Speaking of which, some of the birds that I saw and fed had young chicks with them. And what I saw next actually quite stunned me, as I saw the adult bird gave the bread that I fed them with, to feed their chicks. It suddenly don onto me that these creatures are so human-like.

I also met up with a few geese, a white and two grey geese. From what I can tell, it seems that these three geese were the only goose in the park. Anyway, there were quite big, standing somewhere as tall as till my mid-thigh. They seem so gentle. And if you agree with me, then you are wrong! Or at least partially wrong. The grey geese were quite docile, waiting patiently for their share of the bread. But the white goose would be nudging away at my pants with its beak when I was feeding the other two – demanding that I fed it instead. What audacity from a goose! Oh well, I guess it’s the dominant goose of the three?

Overall, I had quite an enjoyable experience in the park, engrossing myself with nature and being able to help these little creatures out, even though that they might not need mine to begin with. One thing for sure – I would love to pay them a visit again.

L.A. Police Gear

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Save the dogs, save lives.

Seriously, what has this world come to?! I really do not understand at all...

There is this case of a so-called 'artist' that starves a dog, just for the sake of art! Worst still, the Central American Biennial of Art thinks that this is art as well, and invited him to 'perform' again in the Biennial Centroamericana Honduras 2008! What he did was to tie the already starving dog that was caught on the street with a short rope to a wall, and placed a bowl of food in front of the dog, but beyond its reach. Eventually, the dog died of starvation, while 'sacrificing' itself for the sake of art! Murder I say. I seriously couldn't comprehend how this could be art. This is pure cruelty! What has this world come to?? And if you look at the picture to the left, there are actually people 'admiring' the art work of the dying dog, and did nothing to help that poor dog! This is really too much!

Such action must be renounced, and you can join in the petition at this webby: http://www.care2.com/c2c/share/detail/675045.

Save the dogs, save lives.

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Musicals from Scrub, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Yupe! I never knew that some of the best dramas of its time has an entire episode dedicated to being a musical presentation! I was like browsing about for the High School Musical, when I chanced upon the Scrub musical! Simply hilarious! LOL... Especially the 'guy love song'! LOL... You should watch the musical if you are eyeing for a good laugh. =)


And I was surprised that even Buffy the Vampire Slayer has a musical episode as well! LOL... quite interesting to see Buffy singing along as she kill vampires..=D Enjoy!

Betfair.com

I am sure many of us like to play football, and love to watch football as well. For me, I do occasionally bet on football as well. Mind you, I bet through legal channels! Anyway, from the way I see it, football betting is nothing new. As long as there are two teams playing against each other, bets are on the way.

Well, one way to bet on football is of course to go to the legal betting channels in your country. Another up and coming way is through the internet! I have never tried it before though. Anyway, in betfair.com, they offer betting of football matches from many different leagues, including the ever popular English Premiership. In addition, Betfair allows you to bet right up till the full 90 minutes of the game! And to make the game more exciting, Betfair allows you to bet against other punters and you get to choose your own betting odds! Overall, Betfair claims to provide a fair betting system for everyone.

So, if you are interested in it, do check out their website. And of course, betting is fun if you practice responsible betting. Else, you will loss much more than just your bet. Take heed!